An Objection to Emotional Vulnerability
Posted on Sat May 16th, 2026 @ 10:04am by Lieutenant Commander Corin Layal & Lt JG Adalyn O'Rourke Ph.D.
Edited on on Sat May 16th, 2026 @ 12:39pm
3,590 words; about a 18 minute read
Mission:
Episode 2 - The Sins of History
Location: Office of Lieutenant Commander Corin Layal - Deck 6 - USS Artemis
Timeline: MD013 2000 hrs
Adalyn pressed the chime outside Lt, Commander Corin's office and waited, taking one last glance at the PADD she carried, which contained an extra copy of the psychological evaluation of Gul Vamcet and the audio-video file of the entire evaluation. She'd already sent the JAG chief her report as soon as she'd completed it, of course, but considering they were going to discuss her findings, she decided bringing another copy couldn't hurt, just in case,
O'Rourke had been the one to suggest the meeting, which she saw as an opportunity for a couple of things. Chief among them, naturally, was to offer any additional clarity or further insight into her findings on Vamcet. Collaboration was to be expected between O'Rourke and Corin in O'Rourke's capacity as a forensic psychologist, not because she was expected to always be in agreement with the Bajoran, but because she could offer an independent opinion that could inform the legal process,
The second reason she wanted to meet was in her capacity as chief counselor and as one of Layal's colleagues. That this particular case and the other woman's Bajoran heritage might have stirred up feelings a counselor could help her process if Liyal wanted or needed an ear was another consideration, of course, but Adalyn wasn't looking to be patronizing either. No matter the nature of their cases, Adalyn recognized the emotional weight associated with Corin's position, and Adalyn would've wanted to offer her ear regardless.
"Come in," Layal called out as the chime broke her concentration. There were now a lot of moving parts at play with Gul Vamcet's case, along with opinions and some confusions. Layal didn't mind the chaos, she thrived in it.
Layal looked up from her work as the doors opened on her command and she recognized the ship's psychologist on the other side. Lieutenant O'Rourke filled many roles here as Layal understood it. Though Starfleet counselors often did.
"Lieutenant - Counselor O'Rourke, I don't think we've had the pleasure." Layal got up from her seat and walked around her desk to greet Adalyn. "Come on in."
Adalyn smiled and entered the office as directed, offering her hand as Layal came around the desk. "We have not, and I apologize for that, Commander. As you might imagine, this case in particular has kept me busy, but I wanted to introduce myself and perhaps see if you needed me to clarify anything in my psychological evaluation of Gul Vamcet. You may already know I believe he is not legally insane as the law defines it, but that wasn't an easy call."
"Really? I'm surprised to hear you say that. About it not being an easy call, I mean." Layal gestured to her guest chairs. "Please, have a seat. Can I get you something to drink? I've afraid all I have is what the replicator offers. I didn't expect so many people on board to cultivate their own tea collection, I've been treated quite well since I arrived."
Adalyn, sat as directed and politely shook her head at the offer of refreshments. “I’m glad to hear you’ve been treated hospitably. As I’ve shared with others of late, I have had to watch my caffeine intake, or I fear I just might launch into orbit,“ she added with a laugh. She wondered if the lawyer‘s surprise that her evaluation’s conclusion was not an easy call was more a reflection of training rather than personality. After all, while there were gray areas in the law, just as there were great areas in any aspect of life, lawyers were trained to interpret the law in ways that would bolster a particular argument. “I will admit, the discovery of Vamcet‘s brain tumor did appear to complicate things at first, and I’d be the first to admit, psychological evaluations aren’t always cut and dried, but after weighing all the factors, I believe our defendant is capable of standing trial and is not and was not legally insane.“
Layal sat down as the counselor wasted no time jumping into her position on Vamcet. Layal nodded when O'Rourke stated her conclusion. "I would agree with your assessment. And I think the law favors that as well. His intelligence for matters of law and his possible penalties is evident, and unless he starts playing dumb for the Judge that is what is going to matter more than a tumor possibly affecting his personality. The Judge cares about whether or not he can understand."
Layal harbored little sympathy when men like Vamcet finally met their fate in the hands of the law. He was making his own choices regarding healthcare, if he chose to live or die that way it made little difference to Layal as long as he was behind bars where he belonged.
Adalyn nodded. “I agree. At the same time, taking off my professional hat, I’m grateful that all I had to determine is whether he is competent to stand trial, and whether he was insane, legally, at the time of his crimes. If you had required me to assess whether he was genuinely remorseful, I’m not sure I could give you as clear an answer.”
Layal smirked at Adalyn's response. "I've often just had to go with my gut on that. Almost everyone can feign remorse when they know that there is no way out and the only thing they can do is plead for mercy. Usually there is too much going on in Court for me to watch the defendant's too closely, but sometimes... You'll catch them trying to hide a smile when a victim is testifying and obviously in pain. Or gratification at a gruesome photograph of their... work. That's when I know I'm sharing space with evil."
"I'd be lying if I said gut instinct didn't factor into my work a little too," Adalyn replied. "As a woman of science, I try not to focus on questions of good and evil, but personally, I do know what you mean. Some people cannot be rehabilitated, even these days. This case has certainly stirred up more emotion than most. Forgive me for switching hats for a moment, but how are you coping?"
"Coping, what do you mean?" Layal asked. She had some guesses.
The counselor could have been easily have gotten wind of the fact that she had seen the Chief Medical Officer for a sleeping aid, though that was nothing new in her file. She didn't particularly care for the fact that people seemed overly concerned about the fact that she was a Bajoran handling the case. It wasn't that she didn't want to be seen as a survivor, but in her work as a prosecutor she'd held the hands of so many victims of worse horrors than anything she'd personally gone through during the Occupation. Of course, she'd been quite young when they were liberated and fortunate to have not been separated from her mother.
Then there was the fact that she was on this ship. The Artemis. She was still reserving judgment on whether this Starfleet experiment of a police, investigation, and legal starship unit was a good idea. She liked the crew, but to have all of the branches, those normally working independently of one another, with autonomy -- having to also function as a cohesive unit. She was skeptical, but curious.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be evasive. I've had to prepare a case in shorter order than this, us prosecutors are used to having files thrown in our laps, so I guess I'll need you to be more specific."
“I didn’t think you were being evasive,“ Adalyn reassured. “Because of the nature of these crimes and the sheet number of victims, many crewmembers have reported difficulties sleeping, eating, and they have reported depression, anxiety, and anger. This is on top of the stress they normally feel preparing a case. It’s also fair to say those who have had varying memories of the Occupation have found this case to be particularly taxing.”
"Is that so?" Layal nodded slowly. "I suppose I've been in the field for long enough that I just take it for granted that secondary trauma is part of the job description. I'm sorry the crew is having a tough time." She hedged on saying more.
Adalyn noted Layal's phrasing seemed to put distance between herself and the crew. She was aware the prosecutor had sought a sleep aid recently and had received counseling throughout her life, and as curious as she was, she didn't want to press too much. The two had just met, after all, and O'Rourke was loathe to burn bridges over what she knew so far to be one instance of poor sleep. With this case, if she intervened with every instance of a prescribed sleep aid, she would be doing nothing else. "It sounds like you have lots of prior experience with secondary trauma," O'Rourke replied. "Are there any strategies you find particularly useful? I'm always looking to add ideas to my toolkit."
O'Rourke knew she was risking a certain perception of incompetence with this approach, but she was genuinely asking out of curiosity.
"I think some of us are just built to get numb to it after a while. At least for the most part anyway." Layal pushed her chair back from the desk and picked up her left left leg, tucking it underneath her. "Humor inside prosecution offices can be a little brutal. I'm told that's a coping mechanism. It sometimes gets me in trouble when I forget where I am." Layal gave the counselor a knowing smile as she picked up a small wooden fidget puzzle from her desk and began shuffling it mindlessly with her fingers.
"Burnout usually gets me more than the material. It can be hard to find a balance when you feel like outcomes are based on your performance, and various people are vying for your attention throughout the process. I'm sure you know what that's like though. I imagine your schedule can get pretty hectic also."
Adalyn took note of Layal’s decision to reach for the puzzle and wondered if she did so because they were venturing into more uncomfortable territory. The counselor knew it was entirely possible. The prosecutor wasn’t aware of the discomfort at all. She also noted the mild deflection, the subtle way she attempted to steer the conversation away from herself and toward Adalyn. “I think those who serve in Starfleet always understand what it’s like to be pulled in different directions, but not everyone has experience with humor that can get them into trouble, “Adalyn added with a smile. “What do you suppose people outside of prosecutors‘ offices feel about that kind of humor? “
Layal grinned, "Well I imagine a lot of medical professionals and other law enforcement professionals would appreciate the same sense of humor."
Adalyn recognized a deflection when she heard one, no matter how polite. “For the sake of discussion, let’s say I’m not in healthcare or law-enforcement. if that’s true, what might I feel about that kind of humor?“
Layal sighed, taking a deep breath in and pushing the air out through her mouth. "I suppose it depends. In the wrong company it can come off as insensitive. Especially when someone doesn't know if it's a joke or not. But, if those people knew the horrors people like us protect us from, they may not care if it was a joke or not."
“So it might seem you were being insensitive, but that would be an unfair characterization of how you really feel?” It may have seemed like a rather obvious statement, but O’Rourke hadn’t actually heard the prosecutor share her feelings.
"Possibly. Or I just know that some people find it in poor taste to joke about certain topics generally. Whether they know it's representative of a person's actual feelings or not," Layal replied dryly. "But I've met very few people in the field who last for very long without using it as a coping mechanism. Have you?"
Adalyn took note of the continued deflection whenever she attempted to ascertain the other woman’s feelings about anything. She wondered if that was subconscious or intentional, or perhaps just a consequence of her legal training. After all, lawyers had to intellectualize from all angles. “I have certainly met more than my fair share of people who use dark humor to cope with the horrors of this work, but in fairness, when I see them, it’s often because those strategies have stopped working for them, and they need some other tools. I can’t help but notice when I inquire about how you feel, I don’t get a response that references you personally or that includes a feeling word. Have you noticed that?“
"A feeling word?" Layal repeated. She wasn't surprised the counselor was trying to press into her on a more personal level, but the 'feeling word' bit caught her off guard. She wasn't sure how to answer.
"I've learned that the trick to being in the profession this long is to try to keep my feelings separate from my work. If I didn't know how to compartmentalize, I would have burned out a long time ago," she replied. "Though when I have cases with victims that are going to be at the trial, I do think I have some sensitivity to their trauma. Working with them and seeking justice on their behalf has been the most rewarding aspect of this job," Layal replied. "But you wanted to know more about me, personally? I'm sorry if I seemed like I wasn't answering your questions. What was it that you wanted to know?"
“You don’t ever have to apologize in this room,“ Adalyn replied with a gentle smile. “My intention is not to make this an interrogation, but to ensure you have the coping skills and emotional support you need to survive this job. I do understand the need for compartmentalization. I would never judge you for that. In my experience, sometimes people can compartmentalize feelings a little too well, to the point they struggle to be able to identify their own feelings, let alone express them to others. How are you at being able to label and convey your emotions these days?“
Layal inadvertently looked at the door which only reminded her that she was in her own office and there was nowhere to escape. "Oh, I think I have a decent enough handle on it, Doctor," she replied, though she was beginning to sound weary. "I wouldn't say my emotions are too complicated. Life is pretty simple these days anyway."
The momentary break in eye contact wasn’t lost on Adalyn. She knew she had touched on something that wasn’t easy, and while she took no joy in making other people uncomfortable, she knew discomfort was sometimes necessary to get to healthier ground. “What words would you use to describe what you’re feeling right now?“
"Tired, I think," Layal replied. "Otherwise I feel fine. It's been a lot getting out here and getting caught up. But I'm good."
“Tired is a great specific way to define your physical well-being,“ Adalyn agreed. “Emotionally speaking, words like good and fine are a bit vague. Will you clarify a bit more what you mean by fine, and good?“ The counselor wasn’t trying to be exasperating or difficult, she just wanted to assess how much the other woman felt comfortable reflecting, and whether she had the vocabulary to express her feelings. Many people didn’t, and that wasn’t a matter of intelligence, or desire, but was often a reflection of trauma, or being raised with the belief that feelings shouldn’t be discussed.
"I'll tell you what, Counselor. I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but if you tell me what it is you are looking for me to say, and I'll try to give you the right answer. But, I've done the counseling thing before, many times over and it feels like for me I just keep spinning the same wheels," Layal admitted. "The job is stressful, but I love it. I love fighting for justice. I just like to focus on that and keep moving forward."
“I hear you,“ Adalyn replied sincerely. “My goal is not to take any of that away from you or present you with impossible questions. My goal is to ensure you can keep doing what you love by making sure your emotional and physical health are taken into the equation. Maintaining emotional health starts with helping people identify their own emotions, especially in the moment, which can be challenging. I’ve heard you share what you love, and I think we have a lot in common in that way. I promise I’m not trying to be a downer when I ask this, but sometimes I think it helps to explore opposites. You’ve told me what you love. What are some things that worry you?“
Layal's shoulders fell. She hated this question, and the counselor was not going to let her off of the hook that easily.
"Losing. Failure," Layal responded quickly. Those were the easy answers. Other trauma from her past she buried deep. Physically safety, fear of assault and not being able to defend herself. Dying alone. Those were the harder answers. The topics she avoided bringing up. The ones that dared to make her heart beat too fast or bring tears to her eyes. Feel things that she didn't have time to feel.
Adalyn didn’t think the speed of her response matched what Adalyn had observed in Layal's demeanor. The question now was whether she should address it, and if so, how? "I think I understand what you mean by losing or failing in a professional context - no one wants to see someone avoid consequences for committing crimes, even if you can't control what a judge or jury will do. Does that fear of failure or losing also come up in other aspects of your life outside of the professional?" Balance between work and life was important for continued health in either area, and though O'Rourke knew in this particular setting and circumstance, she would be wise to keep the focus on occupational performance and the barriers that could impact it, she couldn't help but sense there was so much more not being said.
Layal looked at the Counselor for a moment as she considered her response. Losing or failure in her personal life. What would that even look like? She supposed that she did hate letting her friends and family down, but really it seemed she had positioned herself in a place where people seemed to expect very little of her outside of her professional life. She had made herself too busy for much else - or so it seemed from the outside.
"I - I'm not sure I understand the question," Layal answered honestly. "I'm not really competitive, I don't think. When you grow up just trying to survive, I think success is measured differently by your parents. I was never pushed to be better than anyone else. Failure once meant death, and when it didn't anymore, well there was still work to be done, but it wasn't pass/fail, or losing and winning."
“I can see that,” Adalyn replied with a nod. “I was thinking of a broader definition of success and loss. Beyond being a successful lawyer, are you driven to excel in other areas of your life? Who is the woman behind the prosecutor?” She asked with a smile.
Layal could see that the counselor was not going to give up. "I'm sorry, Counselor. That question is a little more complicated than we have time for. I really need to focus on this trial. It's not like I was given weeks to prepare for it. I'll make you a deal," Layal looked Adalyn in the eyes, her tone serious. "When this trial is over, I'll schedule an appointment with you. One."
Layal's words suggested a desire for a reasonable compromise while her tone suggested she was accustomed to making the rules and ensuring people followed them or else. Adalyn had no doubt the lawyer's primary goal was to get Adalyn out of her office as quickly as possible. O'Rourke could also acknowledge her curiosity could get the better of her at times and she could talk all day to people who fascinated her. "How about this? After the trial, we schedule a lunch or other activity of your choosing to decompress and get to know each other better. What you call it is completely up to you."
"I might have a holodeck program or two," Layal offered as she stood up. "I'll call you," she added as she walked Adalyn the short distance to the door.
"Sounds good," Adalyn replied politely. She had every intention of calling Layal if need be, but for now, this had gone about as well as she hoped.
A Joint Post By
Lieutenant Commander Corin Layal
Judge Advocate General, USS Artemis
Second Officer, USS Artemis
Starfleet Criminal Investigations Unit
Lieutenant Junior Grade Adalyn O'Rourke
Ship's Counselor/Profiler, USS Artemis
Starfleet Criminal Investigations Unit
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